The ULTIMATE resource for being a teenager.

Helping teens and adults navigate the 10-year teenage heroic journey.

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Start Being Curious

Part 1

3 Core Challenges

You face 3 core challenges on the journey to young adulthood.


Life shrinks or expands in
proportion to one’s courage.

Anais Nin

Challenge #1: Forming an Identity

  • Your identity is like a puzzle you put together on the journey
  • There are central pieces like purpose, values, and personal qualities and other pieces, like race, gender, sexual orientation, body image and faith
  • You have a digital identity to manage – or it will be managed for you

Challenge #2: Develop Relationships

  • You must develop new more mature relationships with parents, peers, and romantic sexual partners
  • Relationships are always a matter of a good “fit” and, with everyone changing, finding and keeping a good “fit” can be problematic
  • You can be a good friend or romantic partner and still see relationships end because the “fit” is no longer there
  • There are some key skills that support relationships, like “emotional intelligence” and communications

Challenge #3: Building Competencies

  • There are actually 12 categories of competencies to develop to be a successful young adult
  • Many of these competencies will be available in your normal settings, like school, home or work
  • Many, however, will require you to search out the opportunities for development
  • Some competencies you only need to be OK at, some you need to be good at and a few you will need to master
  • There is a path to developing these competencies, where you must “learn to love the plateau”
  • Habits also play a key role

Part 4: Special Topics

There are dozens of resources, hundreds of quotes and a bunch of special topics to explore – be curious.

Introductory Video

As a teenager, you are on a 10-year heroic journey – just like in the stories and myths. You have to leave the known world of childhood, discover and master the ways of young adulthood, and deal with all the mysteries in-between (“inbetweenity”). It’s a rollercoaster and it naturally requires courage, perseverance and resilience – which build on the journey.

You face three core challenges – forming an identity as a young adult – developing new or more mature relationships with parents, peers and romantic partners – and building a range of young adult competencies. In the process, you learn how to become the author of your life.

This site can help you understand the challenges, know what to expect on your journey and manage your journey. There is no recipe and everyone’s journey is different, but there is a lot of information here to help you find your way.

The key is to be curious. It’s not a book online, so just go wherever your interest leads you.

Gordon Barnhart

Your Role? Hints for using the Site

The key is to adapt the site to your role.