Relationship & the Heroic Journey


Relationships and the Heroic Journey

With peer relationships almost every element of the heroic journey comes into play.  You leave the known world of relatively simple childhood relationships and go forth into all the unknown and tests of the world of young adult relationships.  You have the three main tests – letting go of old childhood types of relationships, discovering how to form deeper relationships and dealing with that feeling of “inbetweenity.”

In the myths the hero never goes alone.  Just as the heroes in myths, you need to find people who can be guides, helpers, healers and companions.  You find them in your web of relationships – and they may change over the course of your journey.  You will also encounter people who will hurt you, lead you astray, compete with you, undermine you or just be indifferent.

One of the interesting questions with peer relationships is not only what roles they might play in your journey, but what roles are you playing in the journeys of others?

Along the way you will need to take risks to connect with others and you will have successes and breakthroughs as well as setbacks and disappointments.  Some relationships and relationship skills will fall into place and others will seem to stay just out of reach.  This is where the ability to persevere comes into play.

If You’re Struggling With Relationships

If you are struggling with relationships, you are a member of the largest club in the world.  Pretty much everyone struggles with relationships during the teen years.  That is partly because there are so many relationships in play – from relationships with parent to those with peers to those with girl/boyfriends.

Relationships with parents must change, relationships with peers are more mature than childhood relationships and romantic relationships are new.  And everyone is a moving target because everyone is changing at the same time, so finding the right “fit” is often tough – and relationships are about “fit.”

Because all that is going on, it’s important to not beat yourself up if your relationships aren’t where you want them to be.  The struggle may have little to do with your personal qualities, social skills or even mistakes that you have made.  The best approach is to simply learn from the experiences you have and keep moving forward.  Teen relationships are just tough.