Relationship & the Heroic Journey

Relationships and the Heroic Journey

With peer, parent or girl/boyfriend relationships, almost every element of the heroic journey comes into play.  You leave the known world of relatively simple childhood relationships and go forth into all the unknown and tests of the world of young adult relationships.

Heroes Never Go Alone

Just as the heroes in myths, you need to find people who can be guides, helpers, healers, role models and companions.  You will need those people, partly for companionship on the journey and partly to provide guidance or healing when you run into the inevitable setbacks or injuries (physical and emotional).

You find them in your web of relationships – and they may change over the course of your journey.  

You will also encounter people who will hurt you, lead you astray, compete with you, undermine you or just be indifferent.  The competitors can strengthen you, but the others will be a challenge to deal with. Learning how to do that is part of the journey.   

Along the way you will need to take risks to connect with others and you will have successes and breakthroughs as well as setbacks and disappointments.  Some relationships and relationship skills will fall into place and others will seem to stay just out of reach. This is where the ability to persevere comes into play.  

A Surprising Question, “What Role Are You Playing in the Journeys of others”?

What roles might you play for others?  This is the companion question to the roles others play in your journey. Companion, helper, role model, healer, competitor? Or enemy, someone who leads others astray or undermines them on their journeys?  The first task is to ask yourself the questions.

All Three Types of Tests are Encountered

All three of the tests are frequently encountered – letting go, discovery and mastery and “inbetweenity.”  There are usually lots of endings – of childhood relationships and of relationships that come and go during the teenage years.  The tasks of mastering relationship skills and emotional competency are as hard as any encountered.

And there is so much “inbetweenity” with its uncertainty, doubts, confusion and anxiety – also its excitement, hope, insights and breakthroughs.  This is where the roller coaster of emotions can be at its most extreme.

The Quality Required is Courage – it is That Simple and That Tough

The courage to care, the courage to reach out, the courage to ask for what you want/need, the courage to ask others what they want/need, the courage to say “I’m sorry” when appropriate.

It simply takes courage to go out amongst others, all trying to finds their way on the journey.  It takes courage to look at yourself and courage to reveal yourself to others in order to provide the ground for significant relationships.  Courage is required because of the unknown and the lack of experience and the sense of being unprepared.

Remember.  Courage is not the lack of fear or anxiety.  Courage is the willingness to take the risk and go ahead despite feeling anxious or fearful.