What to Do


“OK, I have to form an identity as a young woman or man; develop a new relationship with my parents, new friendships and maybe romantic relationships; and build a whole bunch of competencies.”

So, How do I Manage this Journey I am on as a Teenager?


“I’m supposed to leave the dependence of childhood behind and take on the responsibility of being the author of my life as a young adult.  This is a ten-year journey, full of unknowns and new stuff, with lots of ups and downs along the way.”

How do I do that?  What Can I do?


The 6 Strategies

There are six strategies that can help you become the author and find your way through the challenges of the journey. Each strategy brings benefits and together they can dramatically increase the amount of power and influence you have in creating the life you want.

The trick is to figure out how to use the strategies to your best advantage. They are basic strategies, so adapt them, add to them – make them yours.

Although these six strategies provide a solid common model, they will look different for everyone and everyone gets to design the steps for him or her-self.  These steps won’t restrict you at all and they aren’t a step-by-step prescription.  These strategies just provide a focus for your attention and actions, so that you can act with increasing confidence.

Each strategy will hold power for you, but some will hold more power than others.

Strategy #1:  Understand and Face the Challenges Directly

Strategy #2:  Create Your Vision & Heroic Code

Strategy #3:  Put an Action Plan in Place

Strategy #4:  Connect with the Right People – Build a Web of Support

Strategy #5:  Build Capability – Mastery & Habits

Strategy #6:  Persevere – “Hold the Course”

There is Some Seriously Good News:

  • These are the same strategies that you can use throughout your adult life, so any practice you get as a teenager, sets you up for success as an adult
  • These strategies may be new to you, but they are very practical, well within your abilities – and they work


Table of Contents

The 6 Strategies

Strategy #1: Understand and Face the Challenges Directly

  • The Three Core Challenges
    • Forming an identity as a young adult
    • Building more mature relationships and connections
    • Developing the competencies of a young adult
  • Understanding and managing the journey

Strategy #2: Create a Vision & Your Heroic Code

  • What’s a vision and why is it important?
  • Creating your vision
  • What’s a heroic code and why is it important?
  • Creating your heroic code

Strategy #3: Put an Action Plan in Place

  • Personal plans
  • Basic elements of a plan
  • Examples of goals and actions

Strategy #4: Connect with the Right People – Build a Web of Support

  • Who can I connect with?
  • Coach people in how to support you

Strategy #5: Build Capability – Mastery & Habits

  • Where much of your power lies
  • OK – Good – Master?
  • The natural steps in mastery – “Learning to love the plateau”
  • We create our habits and then they create us
  • 7 steps to developing a desired habit

Strategy #6: Persevere – “Hold the Course”

  • Sometimes it just comes down to persevering
  • Resilience
  • Strategies for developing resilience
  • The energy traps – challenges to the heart
  • Possible sources of life energy & renewal
  • Check-ins to stay on the path (3 questions)


Barriers & Pitfalls

  • “I’m just a teenager. How much of an author can I really be?”
  • “Who am I to have a heroic code or plan for my life as a teenager?”
  • “Will people really support me? Am I worthy of their support?”
  • ”I’m just not mastering all this stuff. I’m falling behind. I’m tired.”
  • “I’m poor and have no resources. I live in a dangerous neighborhood/family. People are pulling me down.”

Act When You Are Ready

You can currently be in any of four groupings based on how ready you are to take on “being the author.” You can also move from one group to another

  • “Look out world, here I come.”
  • “Pretty much ready to go, but not quite ready to go full speed”
  • “On the sidelines, but interested”
  • “Never going to engage.”