#3 Communicating Out To Others

#1 Communicating Out To Others

Communications is the big challenge in relationships because it is about connecting. It is about communicating out to others and it is about listening effectively. This part is about communicating out and the next part is about effective listening.

As with all the issues in relationships, it is a matter of “fit.” Some people will be interested in what you have to say about something and others won’t. That doesn’t make you wrong or uninteresting when others aren’t interested. It just means that the fit isn’t there. Get used to the fact that sometimes the fit will be there and sometimes it won’t – just the way life works.

Communicate How?

There are a surprising number of ways to communicate out to others. In fact, if you think about it, it’s hard to not communicate. For example, you can communicate:

  • Face to face
  • Online
  • Through written notes
  • In a song, picture or poem
  • Through actions
  • Through what you don’t say or do
  • Through facial expressions and body posture

Communicate About What?

It can often feel like you don’t have much to communicate, but the reality is that there are a surprising number of things to communicate about – it really is surprising. For example, you can communicate about:

  • Your needs
  • Your feelings
  • Questions you have
  • Things you find interesting (songs, movies, articles in the paper or online, quotes you’ve run into, classes at school or experiences on teams, in clubs, volunteering…)
  • Things going on in your family, school, community, the world
  • Things you appreciate about others
  • Challenges you face or things you are worried about or excited about
  • Gossip, if it isn’t hurtful or mean
  • Topics from the site on building an Identity, the section on building Competencies or the big section on What to Expect on the Journey

And – When you are truly listening to others, you can respond with your thoughts, feelings, questions, affirmations, disagreements, etc.


The thing that can be difficult about communicating out to people is that it naturally reveals things about you and that can sometimes be intimidating or anxiety producing.

That’s particularly true when you reveal feelings, concerns, hopes, etc. It is critical, however, if you are to build meaningful relationships. It actually takes a fair amount of courage to build meaningful relationships.